Thursday, January 23, 2014

More on "seeing", "accepting", "letting go" .

From what I have seen and worked with, letting go something comes in three steps… and anyone who corresponds with me or follows my posts knows and may be tired by now of me pointing them back to the three steps…

  1. See the issue (if there is a reaction in us, there is something to look into)
  2. Accept the issue (without judgment - inquiry)
  3. Let it go (samyama/give it to ishta)

Letting go happens at many levels, layers… so even though we may have let something go, it can come back as we open further… and when it comes up again, there is no need to be hard on self and judge ourselves as failures (more labels and layers that we will have to see through later), just look some more, accept/forgive some more and let it go.

Anyways… the other day, someone  send me the link to this article, and she said to me the technique was similar to what I share with people. That was true, but what I found fascinating in the article was how Dr. Hew Len physically healed people around him by healing that thing in himself. I have always thought of healing self and then everything around heals, meaning if it does not bother me then it is no longer a block... I don't change anyone, or nothing really changes (not directly), but everything changes. However in this case the patients were completely healed. So I thought let me try it. *:) happy

Going to share something here that I think was amazing. It may read as the same things I have been sharing for some time now… but there is a subtle difference that made a huge difference here.

I went inward to the first moment of my life I remember, it was when I was 2 or 3 and was getting a beating from my dad… I remember trying to beat him up and throw the refrigerator down and kick down a stone counter top… so I wasn’t taking the beating submissively, but fighting back... I was angry. I have done the letting go on this many times, and now when I visit it, there are no feelings that are triggered… Love my dad and there is complete forgiveness and letting go of this...

So went to that level and decided to say I forgive me for the anger. I caught myself saying, wait, I was 3 I did not know better... That's when I saw how certain things stay in place ... We justify it with logic, or make excuses for it, it was not a matter of if I was right or wrong or understood or not... I was angry and that was the building block for anger in me when I grew up... If I could forgive myself for the anger I could let anger go in the present me. So once again, “seeing”, “forgiving myself for what it added to my identity” and then the final step of “giving it to ishta”.

I saw the building blocks of current Shweta. I could visit the many things that have happened in my life, and realized, although I had let those individual hurts and blocks go… unless I forgave myself at that point for adding a certain something that then became the identity of “Shweta”, be it anger, abandonment, jealousy, arrogance, low self esteem, lack of confidence, habits, addictions, thought patterns, needs, understandings, etc. I did not really let it go… till I forgave myself for adding that layer to myself.

And as I worked with all of this, I saw the common thread… “Control”… even at 3 I was fighting my dad because I wanted to be in control… everything I added had a common thread of trying to control or giving up because I thought I had no control. As I worked with “control” and the other things I saw (it's pretty complex, as each thing that happens to us adds more than just one thing, anger, leading to need for control, to arrogance, to aversion or attachments toward certain things, to finding an escape, etc.)… it soon felt like I am rewriting Shweta… more creating a blank canvas on which the divine can now create. It is very interesting.

Thanks for reading along.
*:) happy