Aloneness

"Loneliness is absence of the other.  Aloneness is the presence of oneself. "   ~ Osho

There has been an on and off  feeling of aloneness. Not all the time. It comes and goes... with intervals of clarity. 

This feeling is not loneliness. I don't miss anyone. However, even while I am in the  middle of family and friends... I get a sudden feeling of being alone. Although I feel more connected with things around me, I feel like I am alone with everything else around me being a part of me. It is hard to put in words.

I think a part of this is because the mind does not know what to do anymore. With no thinking, rather no thinking with energy toward the thought, it feels lost.

I talked to Yogani about this, and with his permission I would like to share a part of his reply here:

"I have known the feeling. It is a mixture of personal and impersonal aspects of consciousness. There is nothing more alone than Self, with everything seen as That, compensated by the eternal radiance of inner silence. On the other hand, the personal aspect longs for company -- relationship.

Perhaps the eternal has manifested as the the universe for some company, creating the illusion (maya) so the play of duality (lila) can happen. Seeing both sides at the same time is strange, isn't it? You are this and you are that. It is a transitional experience -- a shifting perspective. What experience on the path is not? This too shall pass. 

A solution might seem to be for spiritual people to gather together, as they often do in relationships, ashrams, etc. But that does not change the fact of duality dissolving into non-duality. "I am That" has no company and all company. It is stillness in action.

This is why the enlightened serve, for the sake of relationship, for the expression of love. It is like creation moving in another dimension that is not primarily about the physical, not primarily about time and space. It is about the flow of love. Everyone wants that, but for those who are that, it is to be the One -- infinitely full, yet alone. "