Sunday, January 3, 2010

Aloneness

"Loneliness is absence of the other.  Aloneness is the presence of oneself. "   ~ Osho

There has been an on and off  feeling of aloneness. Not all the time. It comes and goes... with intervals of clarity. 

This feeling is not loneliness. I don't miss anyone. However, even while I am in the  middle of family and friends... I get a sudden feeling of being alone. Although I feel more connected with things around me, I feel like I am alone with everything else around me being a part of me. It is hard to put in words.

I think a part of this is because the mind does not know what to do anymore. With no thinking, rather no thinking with energy toward the thought, it feels lost.

I talked to Yogani about this, and with his permission I would like to share a part of his reply here:


"I have known the feeling. It is a mixture of personal and impersonal aspects of consciousness. There is nothing more alone than Self, with everything seen as That, compensated by the eternal radiance of inner silence. On the other hand, the personal aspect longs for company -- relationship.

Perhaps the eternal has manifested as the the universe for some company, creating the illusion (maya) so the play of duality (lila) can happen. Seeing both sides at the same time is strange, isn't it? You are this and you are that. It is a transitional experience -- a shifting perspective. What experience on the path is not? This too shall pass

A solution might seem to be for spiritual people to gather together, as they often do in relationships, ashrams, etc. But that does not change the fact of duality dissolving into non-duality. "I am That" has no company and all company. It is stillness in action.

This is why the enlightened serve, for the sake of relationship, for the expression of love. It is like creation moving in another dimension that is not primarily about the physical, not primarily about time and space. It is about the flow of love. Everyone wants that, but for those who are that, it is to be the One -- infinitely full, yet alone. "

4 comments:

  1. Hi Shweta :D

    I can totally identify with this feeling. On one side there is a part of me that says: "I am born alone, I will die alone"....and then another part that says "Alone?!?! We are all One....how could I ever be alone?" And then the first part comes in again and says: "Life is meaningless if there is no one to share it with"....while yet again the other side says: "Everything is within, there is nothing outside of the Self".

    I totally relate to the feeling. Thanks for sharing both your experience and Yogani's perspective on it.

    Love.
    :D

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  2. Hi Carson.
    :)
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
    I know exactly what you are talking about here. I have gone through this too. Feeling alone in the path and wanting spiritual company, but then going out and loving every moment we are one with others.

    This experience that I am talking about though, is different. This aloneness is not being defined by the mind. This aloneness is not a label, but a word used after the fact to describe a feeling that arises once in awhile.

    Being one with everything, gives a feeling of no separation, hence no other and hence alone. I like Yogani's way of saying it, the impersonal side of "That". When everything is one, then you are alone.

    Here is how Osho explains it:
    "Loneliness is absence of the other. Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive. It is a presence, overflowing presence. You are so full of presence that you can fill the whole universe with your presence and there is no need for anybody."
    "Aloneness is a flower, a lotus blooming in your heart. Aloneness is positive, aloneness is health. It is the joy of being yourself. It is the joy of having your own space."
    "An inside journey is a journey toward absolute aloneness; you cannot take anybody there with you. You cannot share your center with anybody, not even with your beloved."
    "The aloneness is so deep that one needs guts. But out of that aloneness explodes bliss. Out of that aloneness, the experience of God." ~Osho

    You see, this aloneness is beautiful, but to the mind it is a bit scary (the label is scary not alone). The mind does not like being alone. When experiencing this experience, it does not feel scary or good or awesome or one or alone. However the moments in-between, the mind analyzes these moments and decides it is sacred to be alone in the vastness of oneness.

    Fortunately Yogani says it's just a phase and once we settle into "that", it will no longer have a label of "aloneness". :)

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  3. I just found your blog and found it very interesting. So I have decided to join you on this journey and follow your blog. Thank you for sharing Shweta.

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  4. Thank You Barbz for joining us. :)

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