Stillness Speaks....

 (A few insights that have come to me on this journey)
 

• It is ALL in the mind!!!

•  If it is not happening right now... it is not happening. ☺

• When there is constriction, when we are closed off, we belong to our minds; when there is openness, when there is awareness, our mind belongs to us.

• Don't try to put words around an experience... that defines/draws boundaries around something that is ever changing. Why try to close the ever changing, ever expanding stillness into the walls, boundaries drawn by words... just live and grow with them. (June 30th 2010)

•  A situation is only as intense as the attachment to the story behind it.  (July 27th 2010)

Radhika

 

~Painting by Shweta Mitra - May 2010

based on the painting "Jayashri – Krishna Pleading." by Syamarani dasi.

The first time I saw this painting, I knew I wanted to paint it. I have not managed to find the name of the artist who did this one,  however, the original painting was done by Syamarani Dasi, who is an amazing artist. I did not know about her, till I went hunting for the artist who I should give credit to for the original of this painting.

I try to stay as close to the original painting as possible, however, at some point the face changes and takes on a form of its own. The original face is beautiful, and there were moments I wished I could keep that same face in my painting. However, there is no predicting how stillness moves, and so, the painting becomes what it does. In this painting, Radha definitely has a flavor of her own.

Stillness... My New Ishta

Due to the influence of my father, and then reading Autobiography of A Yogi, which set off all kinds of flames of devotion in me and started me off on my spiritual path, I got very close to Ma Kali. She was my first ishta (an ishta is our "object of highest devotion"). Our Ishta is often embodied in the form of a god or goddess, who each symbolizes different aspects of divinity and divine awareness, though our ishta can also be any quality we wish to attain (i.e. "unconditional love", etc.), or anyone or anything we can genuinely surrender to. After having Ma Kali as my ishta for a while, I was introduced to a few other ishta's: Ramakrishna, Nithyananda then back to Ramakrishna, then back to Ma Kali. However, throughout my spirituasl path, I always had an ishta that I could surrender to.

Then came the experience of aloneness that I have talked about here. The thing that I missed the most during that time, was not having a connection with my ishta any longer. I tried really hard to reconnect with my ishta, but I just could not do it.

Recently, though, I have come to realize that I have been surrendering everything in stillness. If ever there is a feeling of constriction, I gently make myself aware of this, and let it go into stillness. Open... open... open... and let the constriction dissolve.

The other day I realized, that the stillness, the silence, the nothingness that I have been surrendering to is now my ishta. I don't need a form to surrender to. The forms of my ishta arose from this stillness, and when I surrendered to the forms, Ma Kali, Ramakrishna, Nithyananda, I was surrendering to the stillness through them. But now I have access to the formless  stillness directly, and hence the forms are not required.

My mind at times still wishes it could get dramatic and pray and adore and surrender to someone/something it deems higher than itself. Someone who will take care of it. But there is nothing higher or lower than stillness. It all arises and dissolves in stillness, and when we have access to this stillness, it's just a matter of getting the mind used to the idea; having the form of an ishta is not required.

Heart Hands

"Heart Hands"  ~ Shweta Mitra (May 2010)

I did this one for my friend Kavitha.

Dr. Kavitha Chinnaiyan is a cardiologist and the founder of Heal Your Heart Free Your Soul.
 
When she asked me to make something for her, I had to think for a while as to what to make for her. Something to do with "heart", I thought. Well, since she is a heart doctor who works with her hands, and since she is offering her services and love to all around her, "Heart Hands" seemed like it fit just right.

And although I did sketch this for her, it really is a tribute to one and all who give from their hearts, day in and day out. So it really is for all of you, who knowingly or unknowingly have been giving from your hearts and blessing this world with your presence.

And if you are reading this and saying, "Well.. that's not me"... please let that thought go, everyone gives the best they can, even if you don't realize it.

So to all of you Thank You from my heart!!!!♥

My First Portrait

This one is a copy of "The Milkmaid" by Raja Ravi Verma. This is my first attempt at drawing a portrait. It was a great learning experience. The rest of her came naturally, however her face was not easy. It started off as a completely different person. The face was slightly broader, the skin darker and eyes and lips more defined. Then as I changed the shape of her face, lightened her skin, changed the shading and made the eyes and lips less defined she transformed into a very different person. ☻. My daughter commented on how she looked so much older when I first started painting her and how she got younger with me playing around with the colors and shades. She does not look like the original painting by Raja Ravi Verma... in his painting she looks much younger and has a different feel to her. But I think I like my milkmaid the way she is. ☺.

~Painting by Shweta Mitra - May 2010

Copy Of "The Milkmaid" By Raja Ravi Verma.

Divine Love Reigning

I wanted to share my painting, that I've been working on for the past month. The painting isn't originally mine; the general scene and theme come from another artist. However, the overall look and feel, the colors and vibe, etc., are very different from the original, and represent a fresh interpretation of Radha and Krishna. And although this is not an original Shweta Mitra painting, it is one that has flowed from the heart and stillness. It was lovely to watch the colors merge and create a beautiful Radha and Krishna. I really wish I could say I created this... but any time my mind was actively deciding what to do, the paints and colors just did not flow... then I stopped... became silent... asked the divine/stillness to paint... and everything... the colors, the shades, the paint, the brush strokes... it all just flowed beautifully. I don't think I have experienced anything like this before.

I hope you enjoy the stillness that went into this painting... the cosmic romance of Radha and Krishna.

 "Divine Love Reigning" ~ By Shweta Mitra, May 4th 2010.

I have this one posted at my website too, along with a beautiful poem By Katrine Kristiansen called The Fragrance.  Katrine and I independently started working on these pieces about a month ago, without knowledge of each other's efforts. I was looking for a poem to go with my painting, and she was looking for a painting to go with her poem. We were pleasantly surprised when we did share our creations with each other, and saw how beautifully they fit together. 

I also want to thank my aunt who introduced me to painting when I was really young and my friend and current art teacher for all her help with this painting... she helped me pick up a brush and paint again after 26 years.  

I'll end this post with these words from Richard Norman Schooping's song "Be Here Now". VIDEO: (Song) Be Here Now

Everything’s because of you and the things you do, my beloved
Yeah everything is flowing fine as we dance beyond rhyme, my beloved
You calmed the storm inside of me and now I’m free, my beloved
So now I let the battle go and watch you run the show, my beloved

All I want to do is sing of the joy you bring, my beloved
Praying that these songs awaken those who feel forsaken, my beloved

Newness Of A Moment

As the living in the now becomes more and more steady, I have noticed that I tend to forget things a lot. I feel like I have forgotten everything, life is teaching me everything new. As conditioning is dropping, there is very little reference from the past to fall back on. So everything I do now is like doing it for the first time. It's a bit scary, not knowing, feeling things not in control, and yet everything flowing... and learning anew to do things without stress. If there is discomfort in this moment, it is always because there is some memory of the past or worry about the future in this moment. But when it is only this moment, there is doing without the stress. After the fact there is a bit of mind jumping in and saying, "OMG, what if it hadn't worked out the way it did... you should plan more". But there is no choice but to trust the moment. Reminds me the movie Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.. where he steps into the abyss and ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-c8_OFwZoY&NR=1&feature=fvwp

I talked to Yogani about this. He said: "It is a phase. A gradual shift from mind-based living to stillness-based living, with the necessary adjustments occurring along the way. Memory will be there when needed.

The flow of inspiration is an endless river, and we can tap into it any time we like according to the need of the moment. No way to catch all that water flowing by. So let it go. When you need something, it will be there.

The forgetting is letting go of the past. Whatever we need from the past will also be there when we need it, like the river mentioned above.

We can get used to anything. It takes some time to develop trust in what is. It can be a little lonely and disorienting in the meantime.

Every day is that "step of faith..."

A few days back I realized something else. I was getting myself a cup of tea as I do every morning at work. I washed the cup and filled it with hot water. I suddenly had a strange feeling like I was doing this for the first time. It was the first time in my life I was washing a cup and filling it with hot water. It was a very strange feeling. I experience this "doing regular mundane things for the first time"  feeling very often... but that day I realized, it was not a feeling of doing it for the first time, it actually was a feeling of experiencing the moment completely. I had done this (make a cup of tea) every morning... it was mechanical and paid no attention to what I was doing. But that day I was experiencing the feeling of being completely present and fully experiencing the moment of washing and filling a cup. It felt like I had never done it before cause for one there was no memory, in the moment, of doing it yesterday, and since there was no memory in the moment of doing this yesterday I  really had never done it before other than in that moment. So any time I experience a moment truly in the now (it is spontaneous, I cannot make it happen, the experience is suddenly there,) no memory from the past or imagination from the future, there is a feeling of doing whatever I am doing in that moment, for the first time. Although at first it would feel strange and a bit scary to the mind... I seem to be easing into this phase and enjoying these moments more and more. With the easing in, the trust, or that leap of faith seems to be getting more and more  a part of my every day living.